19 January 2010—We mourn Terence (“Terry”) Donovan (1948–2009) who died shortly before Christmas. Claire Rennie delivered this tribute at his funeral.

I stand here on behalf of many, truly many, to give this Tribute to Terry with respect to his life in our community; and also to speak of his final evening.

To speak of ‘our Terry’ (or should I say ‘Tel’) in the past tense still jars.

Terry was an integral part of our church and community. He had woven a weekly tapestry of life, of being, giving and receiving in the fullest. On Tuesday afternoons he was with North Street Potters in Clapham and it is good to see people from there here today. As we have heard from Helen, he attended the Power of the Living Word Social Club on Wednesday afternoons held in the side hall through there. On Fridays he joined in The Weir Link Social Club 100m down the road. On a Sunday he would attend the 9:30 service at St Thomas’ at the far end of Radbourne Road and he would then stride purposefully down the road to get to the St Stephen’s Service for 11:00 and sit about there – that is unless he was playing in the music group over there. The only other people who would do the ‘Radbourne Run’, as it has become known, are the preacher and the occasional musician. Following the service he would enjoy fellowship in the lounge. Terry was devoted to the church. He felt at home within the church. He participated not only regularly in services but in any and every other church activity that was going on. He was truly part of the fabric of this place.

Within church life he was fully active in worship, in prayer and in social and fundraising activities.

In Worship

Terry loved worship and for weeks, maybe months before he became part of the music group, he would come up to the musicians at the end of every service and talk about the music, the instruments and the musicians – constantly mulling over what he would like to play. Finally, he decided upon the bongos and with this arranged he started to play with us. On the first morning he joined in, and during the musicians time of prayer before the service, he thanked God – he said “I am so happy, I have always wanted to play in a band.”

Terry had a professional approach to music. He arrived on time (he told me that he got that from his Dad), he practiced, he listened to instruction and most wonderfully – he gradually built up the skill to listen to and feel the whole of worship – truly contributing, not simply a passenger. He loved to play in the rhythm section alongside another drummer – either David or Elliot, who are here today, or Alex. I can personally vouch that Terry has played along with all of the songs that have been chosen today and we had joked about making a CD entitled, ‘Bongos to Beethoven’!

On another occasion during musicians prayer before the service Terry announced that he was ‘in love’, and it would be remiss of me not to mention how Terry was sadly tormented at times, a lot of the time, – by loneliness, and of not having a girlfriend and ultimately a wife. He had hoped to perhaps find a wife in Turkey – and according to Richard had his eyes on a couple of the nurses upon his admission to hospital! He would often take this loneliness to prayer...

In Prayer

Linda, who is part of the Prayer Ministry team has recounted: “Terry was very open about his feelings, and wore his heart on his sleeve. When I first met him he said he was lonely at times and would like a girlfriend. His second question was ‘are you married’? He wasn’t too perturbed when I said I was – and we remained firm friends ever since! An abiding memory is how Terry loved to come for prayer at the end of the service – he simply came because he found it helpful and clearly had a real faith.”

An Encourager

Terry was a great encourager – always the first to come up to compliment – Annabelle on the power and sincerity of her heartfelt prayer for Hilary, to the musicians for their playing or singing, to Caroline for her beauty!

Generosity

Also, how generous a spirit he had. When we were all invited to use our talents to raise funds for the St Thomas refurbishment, Terry, assisted by Carlo, quickly started to take photos of people with his camera. He said “I’ll take your photo and sell it to you for a pound!” They were all great photos because Terry had the ability to make people smile. 

Terry also shared a stall with Linda at a fundraising fair. He brought along lots of items, saying that he collected them and had a house-full! When all of his things were sold (far more quickly than Linda’s it has to be said!) and he offered to go home and get some more!

The Weir Link

Speaking of Terry’s generosity brings me to The Weir Link where Terry frequently visited.

Julie, the Outreach Worker at The Weir Link recounted, “Terry was a regular participant at The Weir Link Friday social, he was one of the first of a small group who started using the new centre regularly. Terry always joined in the activities (including salsa dance) and his willingness to give new things a try and embrace them whole heartedly made him an inspiration to all of us.”

Terry would often bring things into the centre he and he seemed to enjoy sharing what he had with others and was genuinely pleased when others took delight in the things that he brought. He brought a number of cuddly toys that have proved to be firm favourites with the children, particularly a large cuddly St Bernard dog. He once even offered to bring in a large, very large dalek on hearing that someone liked Dr Who!

On one occasion he brought an owl that he had made at his pottery class, it wasn’t over done or too fancy, he seemed to have captured something innocent and beautiful in his model. Julie thought it was wonderful and told him so. As Terry was leaving that day he Julie me the owl insisting that she take it and saying that he had lots of things that he had made at home. The owl sits looking over everyone in the office every day giving us real pleasure and reminding us that he had a generosity of spirit and a kind heart that are rare.

Carol, the chef at The Weir Link, recounted “Whenever Terry came into the centre he would always come to my kitchen door and say hello. He was a lovely man. Sometimes he would phone me and we would have conversations about fish, as we both kept exotic fish.”

Terry will leave a gap at The Weir Link that will be difficult to fill and he, his humour and warm generosity will be sadly missed by both the staff and members of The Weir Link.

This perhaps leads me to ...

Terry’s Final Evening

Shocked at hearing how ill Terry was and how fast he was deteriorating I was able to visit him twice the day before he died, either side of playing carols for fundraising in Waitrose.

At 4:30 in the afternoon, despite speech already being difficult for Terry we were able to have a conversation. Estelle was there too. He told me that Richard and Simon had visited and we spoke about church, music and The Weir Link. I was able to express our love, prayers and appreciation for his generosity, his honesty and all of his contributions. He was painfully ill, but not distressed. I promised Terry that we would play all of the carols in Waitrose that evening for him, and would come back to see him later.

By the time I returned in the evening with Betsy, our Associate Vicar, Terry had clearly and sadly deteriorated further. He was however conscious, knew who we were, and was able to make affirmative sounds whilst not being able to form words. Betsy asked Terry if he would like to pray and be anointed, and with his consent, he fully entered into the prayers. When Betsy asked him if he had anything that he wanted to say to God, he said his piece, calmly and at length, unintelligible to us, but absolutely clear I am sure, in his intimate relationship with our all knowing and all seeing God.

Betsy then gave Terry a postcard with a picture of the sea on it. “Did you see the sea in Turkey?” I asked him. “Yes,” he said. “Was it beautiful?” asked Betsy. “Yes,” he replied. (He didn’t actually say “Yes”, but a sound that we knew meant “yes”).

In the end we said, “Rest well, Terry,” and both gave him a kiss good night.

Terry died in the midst of life. We all miss him very much indeed. He would have loved all of the Christmas celebrations. He had plans – plans to go and see a West End Musical, plans to continue to learn to read, plans to raise money at The Weir Link playing his bongos and selling more things. Plans to play a lot more music.

However, our deep sadness in the things that are not to be contain the seeds of our gladness that Terry was so fully living in this community.

He has made a lasting contribution by being simply and so honestly, Terry, to so many.

Terry, we miss you, we pray for your on-going, peace, comfort and joy with our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.